This is a story written by a 20-year-old mom from Kitsap County about her experience meeting her baby’s dad and getting pregnant, and then falling in love with her son and learning how to support him as a single parent.
Want to know my story of being a teen mom? Well, here it goes. I am 20 years old and have a 2 ½-year-old son. When I first found out I was pregnant I was in shock, I really could not believe it. In a way though, I was relieved. Relieved because I knew at the time I got pregnant that I was not being the best person I could be.
Being pregnant and knowing I was going
to have a child gave me a chance to change myself for the better.
When I was 16 I met some people I just wanted to “fit in” with. I had fun with them, but I couldn’t have been more ridiculously stupid. I was drinking a lot, doing drugs every now and then, and never going to school. Honestly, I couldn’t have made a bigger mistake by doing those things. In my heart I knew deep down that who I was being at the time was just not me.
I met a guy 5 years older than me. At first I really did not like him, then before you knew it I thought I was in love with him. I know now that it was not love, but when I was 16 I thought it was. I knew nothing about him, but obviously that didn’t stop me from being “with” him. When I got pregnant he was very supportive at first, and I truly thought he was going to be there for me and our child. I was very wrong. I do know that one day he will regret not being in his son’s life. My son is a special kid, and everybody realizes that but his own father.
When my son was born I looked at him and thought he was the most beautiful child in the world. I remember that moment I first looked into his eyes and realized what true love is. There is absolutely nothing like the love a mother has for her child. My son is my best friend and every night I pray that he knows I love him more than anything. I pray to God that he has the best life possible and I ask God to help me be a great mother because that is what he deserves.
I have raised my son by myself. Of course my family has been there for us, but I am the one who takes him to his appointments, buys his diapers and clothes, and teaches him everything. I make sure he has food on the table 3 times a day. I give him the comfort and love he needs. We live on our own with our own apartment. I go to school and work while he is in daycare.
Being a single young mom is not easy. It has been tough, stressful, but also wonderful and amazing.
The worst part of the situation is I have no idea what I’m going to tell him when he grows up and asks me why his “dad” is not in his life, because I honestly have no idea why. No matter how hard it has been to do this on my own—it has been worth it. Every day I get to watch my son do something new, I get to cuddle with him, tell him I love him, talk with him, and I enjoy every single moment of it.
When I first had him I was not sure I could handle it. I wanted to go out with my friends and I was so worried about myself and having fun. I think back now and I can’t believe how selfish I was being. For any teen mom, the advice I give you is to think of your child before you make any irrational decision. I made mistakes, but everyone does so I try not to be so hard on myself. I try not to look back on the past. I try to focus on the now and the future.
I would not change anything in the world now, my son and I are happy as can be. I can’t wait for the years to come so I can continue to teach him and watch him grow. God gave me these struggles only because he knew I could handle them. I finally have my head on straight, and I do believe I am a wonderful mom.